My travel day from Bedford to Camp Walter Scott in Illinois looked different than any other Peace Intern travel day yet. Although it was similar to my travel day with Allisonville to Christmount where we drove for most of the day, it was much different because I was the one driving! This was my first ever solo road trip, and I’d say it was a great starter in prepping for even more to come. My drive was just under 3 hours long and was a nice chance to listen to some of my favorite new albums. Even though I got lost amidst the Illinois cornfields for a while, I eventually found my way to camp and the week was off.
As camp started on Sunday afternoon, I was greeted by many friendly faces. People were asking me about my summer, giving me ideas for workshop topics, and ensuring I was doing alright throughout it all. Truthfully, I was extremely tired and I think most people saw that even though I tried my best to have my typical first day of camp excitement. The theme of my week quickly became grace, something I needed to start giving myself as I usually give to others. One of the main themes of the curriculum that week was giving yourself the space and ability to ‘refill your bucket’.
One way that I refill my bucket is through talking to others. Just having human interaction and perhaps even learning more about a topic I'm interested in can make me feel recharged most of the time. These recharging or bucket-filling moments came naturally to me at Camp Walter Scott. Starting from the first day, conversations were easy to come by. From confetti canon laughter to deep discussions about peace and justice, there was always someone to talk to and help me refill my social battery. I even got to meet and hang out with Erin Gresham, a former Peace Intern! The conversations I shared with them helped to give me new perspectives on my summer journey, as well as how to confidently set healthy boundaries for my needs throughout the summer and beyond.
As the week went on, I only became more tired. There was so much fun and laughter happening around me, but at times, I was actually struggling to keep my eyes open. I gave my Implicit Bias Workshop on Thursday which renewed some of my energy, but it soon gave effects similar to that of a sugar crash. In short, my body was aching and I was too exhausted to stay upright. I practiced the ideas given to me about setting boundaries for myself and expressed these feelings to the counselors around me. My request for an early night to collect myself was not met with questions of why or murmurs of complaint like my anxious mind said it would. Instead, my boundary was met with kind words, hugs, offerings of aid, and even an offer to pray over me before I left for bed.
On Thursday night of camp, I sobbed as I had my bucket refilled when fellow counselors prayed over me and my journey this summer. It reminded me of my time at Camp Christian when another counselor offered to pray over me and his act of love gave me the emotional strength and stability to continue being there for my campers the rest of the week. This time was no different. As the group of counselors surrounded me, amidst the chaos of middle school campers running around, I felt a kind of inner peace that I hadn’t before. At first, I panicked though. How could these people I’ve only just met a few days ago understand my exhaustion and overall grumpiness? Then, as we quoted many times that week, I “epiphed!”
All of a sudden, the puzzle pieces fell into place. I realized that the curriculum I’ve been studying for most of my camps this summer centered around the idea of being linked together in love. More than that, the curriculum is about taking care of God’s children because of how much we are all connected. At that moment, in the dining hall of Walter-Scott, I was taken care of by my community. At Christmount when a twisted ankle felt like the end of my world, I was taken care of by my community. During the counselor prayer circle at Camp Christian when a friend prayed over me, I was taken care of by my community. While being nurtured and respected by my fellow staff at Camp Bedford, I was taken care of by my community. I needed my bucket filled many times this summer, and the people around me truly delivered.
These camps have also allowed me to grow in how I care for others. Before starting the summer, the responsibility of watching over and taking care of other people for a week at a time overwhelmed me tremendously. I knew it would be possible, of course, but to say I was nervous would be an understatement. By the end of my first week of camp, as tired as I was, I didn’t feel nervous anymore. That week gave me the confidence to keep going and growing. As the weeks have gone on, it has gotten easier. The consistent supply of mail, care packages, calls, texts, prayers, thoughts, and general good vibes have helped to fill my bucket immensely. Along with that, the people I have met and interacted with throughout this journey so far who have reached out their arms with love and hospitality have been my saving graces. I feel honored to be serving as a Peace Intern, but I feel even more admiration for the acts of love and peace I have received from the communities I’ve visited along my way.
Will you pray with me?
Dear Heavenly Mystic,
We thank You for the precious gift that is community. May we all be reminded of how much the concept and acceptance of community can bring love to all of our lives. Further, we thank You for the wondrous interconnectedness of creation. We ask that as we continue on our journeys of life we can see those special moments of mutuality and need for another. More than that, may we not be blinded by our dif erences so much so that we see our most important binding similarity - love.
Amen.
‘I love you but Jesus loves you best!’
- With love and peace, Maggie B
